If you just smile...

Being new to motherhood, I have experienced many ups and downs. I am sure this is very normal. Through having this beautiful, baby boy that I love dearly, God has been teaching me a lot about myself. Many of the lessons have stemmed from the difficult times with being a mom and having a newborn. For instance, I have been surprised at how impatient I can be when he is having reflux and won't stop crying. It has been sobering for me to come face to face with the wickedness that lives inside of me that I need to surrender to the Lord each day. I am so thankful for 2 Corinthians 3:18 and the reminder that once you accept Jesus the Holy Spirit comes to live inside of you and that he begins the life-long process of change. I have also been so thankful in thinking about the fact that one day we will be in Heaven and God will have completed the process of change! I have also been learning a deeper understanding of what it means when it says, "For you have died and your life is hidden in Christ." (Colossians 3:3). Especially in relation to the 2nd chapter of Philippians. In it is the call to consider others better than yourself, to follow the example of Christ who made himself a slave for people less than himself. I have been learning that with a child you don't have a choice to lay down your life for them, you have to. So, to be like Christ laying down your life means doing it with JOY. That is the choice I have each day. I can take care of Owen with sadness, with bitterness, with frustration... or I can elevate Owen as better than myself and reflect the heart of Christ by finding it a joy to serve him. I have so much to learn.

There are also things I am learning from the fun times. The other day, Owen woke up at 5:00am and decided it was time to start the day! I, however, was not ready for that. So, while I was tired and starting to get cranky... Owen decided to put his smiles on. How could I ever be cranky with my cute little boy smiling and talking to me! I believe God had a purpose for not having babies smile right away and having them wait to the 4-6 week mark. The first few weeks there is the roller coaster of baby blues but also of having a "baby high" where I was just blown away with how much love I had for Owen and Jon. But, after one month, the newness and excitement wore off and the crying got difficult to bear. But then the smiles showed up! And it makes everything worth it when Owen smiles.

Here are some pictures of the progression of his cry. (I have to admit, sometimes I think his cry is pretty cute... but only sometimes).

Here are the smiles that make it all worth it.

And then after a full day of grins and tears, comes precious sleep.